I can't scream TGIF tml, cuz I'm working on the weekends.

>.<

My legs are sore after wearing heels for the whole day.
Like badly bandaged. lol.

I'm so worn out.
Being able to do thing at own will, at own time, at own decision has kinda made me unable to go according to fixed schedules and fixed timing.

At least i have my bear bear and ben ben to turn to.
And i hug my comforting bear to sleep.

Like suddenly, it feels so good to wake up and find yourself hugging a smiling and comforting bear.

Starting work on next Tues and from now till then, I have nothing to look forward to.
Lovely weekend? nah.
Some interesting happenings in the day/night? nah.
A lovely meal? nah.
Whatever whatever whatever? nah nah nah.
Never felt so bored and meaningless recently.

Days just gonna pass as per normal (maybe worse than normal) and then it's time to start work with my weekends burnt.
How nice.
Somehow i wish that I can start work today.
Better than to waste time.

haaaaa ha.

Today's Friday, and I have 1 week left to enjoy and do whatever i want before the starting of work.

Hope things will go on well for now on, and all that i have left to be done will be getting my 1k back from someone who has no money to pay me but have the money to travel. Using iphone somemore when I am still using the old Samsung that I can't afford to change.

The Yellow Ribbon project is back.
Well, i believe it is a good move; to give ex-convicts a chance.
But, some people just don't deserve it and take it for granted.
The ugly people.

Where exactly are you heading in life?
Or should i ask, where exactly am i heading in life?

Sometimes i just have this dumb feeling - why bother to do so many stuff when in the end, you may not even get what you want.
Some may say that if you never try, you'll never know. But my point is, so what if you've tried and you know what you will be getting? At the end of the day, you'll still be losing it in a way or another.
So what if you've achieved a hell lot in life? At the end of the day, you still die.

No one's going to live forever.

Sometimes when i look at that particular someone, i wonder.
What exactly is he going after.
Getting people to believe that he has achieved a lot, been through a lot, experienced a hell lot when in fact, they're all bullshit and are just a heap of lies?
Is that a so-called self-proclaimed self-actualization or something more like trying to console himself in his own way?
Doesn't he even realise that people around him are looking at him the way they are looking at clowns? Amusement.
What for?

Well, when i look at another person, i wonder again.
His life seems to be always that great, that interesting, that happening, etc.
But is he really happy?
He has all the best buddies in the world.
But you won't know. Maybe deep down inside him, he's feeling lonely.
Well of cuz, i hope not.
But you get what i'm trying to say here?

Contradiction - life is full of it.

I have no idea why i am writing this, especially after a phone call that I'm looking forward to, but ended up in a not really pleasant way.
Okay. 'Not really pleasant' ain't the right words to use.
Just not as how i expect it to be.
You know the feeling of looking forward to something, then somehow, it ended up making you feel the opposite.
From 'oh i misses you so' to 'oh we have nothing to talk about' kinda stuff.
I know i can't expect every minute and every second to be filled with words. I know there ought to be pauses somewhere here and there.
But somehow, strangely, weirdly, those pauses make me feels like a stranger.
And that feeling makes me feel so empty.

Maybe, I'm just being emo.

Have you ever had the feeling of being stucked in the past, present and future?
It sucks.

你快乐吗？

Has been busy working.
In case you're wondering what I'm up to recently, it's bazaar-ing.
It's tiring, but fun.

Things are picking up and i hope that I can see real income coming in soon.

I'm so tired.
Like damn tired.

Back to the time when my baby needs to go back camp on Sunday and only comes back on Friday.
What to do.
That's how things are when you date a ns boy.
Haa.